Solstice and Substance

It's a real thing that actually happens

It’s a real thing that happens. Every year.

For several billion years, whether anyone was there to notice or not. The prevailing theory is, that Earth got her tilt when she was sharing an orbit with a Mars-sized planet we have named Theia, and as the old song says, when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, something’s gotta give.

And give it did. Theia gave everything, and was completely obliterated by the impact. Earth lost a major chunk of herself, that eventually filled in with debris from the collision, and the rest of the debris turned into our gorgeous Luna, our lovely, silvery friend in the night sky.

But what Earth gained was a 23.5 degree tilt on her axis, which invented these things called seasons which would not otherwise exist. Those seasons have enabled a whole lotta life to thrive, which might otherwise have never come to be.

So thanks, Theia. Sometimes a catastrophe is actually a great big old blessing.

We might not exist without that tilt. Life might have evolved in completely different ways. There might be sentience, but … maybe not? It’s impossible to say, because to date we have no examples of any life that might have evolved on a non-tilted planet.

But let’s face it, the human neocortex is an enormous evolutionary investment. We might be a prototype, in fact. Maybe sentience isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? From a planetary perspective, we haven’t exactly been a benign infestation. I think whatever consciousness Earth possesses is observing and evaluating before taking another step. Right now, if I was in charge of this program, I’d say no way in fucking hell are we introducing another sentient species into this bullshit. Humanity would commit genocide without even blinking. No way would these glorified monkeys allow another sentience to exist and have rights of any kind.

Some of us would put up a fight, but it would be somewhat fruitless. Think about what we did to the poor indigenous Americans when we got here. Brown motherfuckers? Fuck all the way off. Here, have a nice blanket covered in smallpox to keep you warm until you die horribly.

But the tilt is what made it possible for us to exist at all - probably. Again, no examples of any life having evolved on seasonless, non-tilty planets have emerged so we can’t be sure to a singularity about that, but … it’s a pretty sure bet.

So heck yeah, I’m gonna celebrate the sacred dance on a tilted dance floor, honor the sacrifice of Theia, eat some good food (my son who did not fall far from the tree wants mango curry and pakoras for Solstice dinner), do the present thing, and be grateful that I live on a rock that spins on an axis that brought me this gorgeous Winter we’re having as well as a magical Spring, and a Mystic Autumn. Summer … okay, some parts of Summer are alright if you like that sort of thing.

Bring on the wassail, ring some bells, deck those halls! The Earth is tilted!